Your Future Self

If you could write a letter to yourself, what would you say? If you could give yourself advice for the future, what would it be? Instead of trying to change the past, why don't we ever think to remind ourselves of what's important latter in life. What if one day we stray off the path we are supposed to follow, why shouldn't we be able to have advice on what to do, and what better than than it to be from ourselves. We often think that we will stay the same and that our values will never be different but later in life we often forget what is true and what truly has meaning.

I wrote myself a letter the other day to my future self. Whether it be a week from now or 3 years from now. I think it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I wrote it one day after I had just had a discussion about life with my class. It was a class called theory of knowledge, and we just talked about what was bringing us down and the troubles we were facing. We were able to get our problems off of our chest and my teacher tried her best to give us words of advice. That night was very emotional, and I felt a weight lifted off of my shoulders just being able to express my frustrations and talk about my worries. When I got home later that night, I wrote myself that letter. I reminded myself that it's okay to just be me; it's okay to just stop and take a breath once in awhile. I know one down in my future I'm going to forget what I learned that night. I know that someday when I'm all alone I will just need a spark of inspiration and just someone to tell me that it's going to be okay. I want someone to remind me about the little things in life and to remember that even when life gets hectic, call you parents because they're probably worried or would like to hear from you. One day when I feel like nothing is going right, I'm all alone, or feeling a need for a little guidance, I can read my letter.

If you could just do one thing right now, do that. I promise you, you will not regret it. I know one day I will thank myself for writing this letter because it will come in handy at just the right moment. When I feel like everything is going wrong and just need some encouraging words, it's right there for me to read. If you get the chance, just try it when you feel that raw emotion. Whether you just cried from a movie that touched your heart, or heard the song you listen to when you're having a bad day, write all the feelings of your heart. Let yourself know that you aren't alone and that no matter what you will never go on the journey of life alone. Anytime your feeling down just read that letter, and one day, your future self will thank the old you.

Writing and Listening

Sometimes I wonder if anyone is ever listening. Maybe that's why I write, because I'm unsure, maybe that's why I'm writing this right now. I guess I just write because that's how I express my feelings; it's how I look deep inside myself and expose the wounds that I keep hidden. It's hard to face the truth, the pain, but I guess that's the beauty of writing. It's such a beautiful thing to see words of the soul written down, writing to nobody or to somebody who they hope will read their thoughts. You never have to worry about someone judging you because these strangers are maybe looking for the same thing you are too. I don't really know of a way to say how I feel, unless I write it down. The words I can never tell anyone, the words kept inside waiting to be uncovered. I guess this is why I started a blog, so I could write, so I could talk to the "unknown". Someday hoping for someone to connect or to share my feelings, hoping someone is touched or enlightened, hoping that what I'm saying actually has a purpose.  Even if no one will listen or read, even if they just see my blog and move on, I'll be content because no matter who is listening I will always have my paper and pencil. I guess I learned that even though no one maybe be listening, that doesn't mean I'm not heard. Saying something doesn't mean that someone will always listen, but writing gives you the freedom to listen to yourself. It's funny how much we actually learn when we stop and listen to the words of our hearts. You never know who will listen when you write, but I guess that's make makes it all the more interesting.

Why Poems Are So Sad

My friend asked me the other day why poems were so sad, saying hers were only short and simple poems that rhymed. I thought about that question for a brief moment, and responded with an answer. The reason why poems are so sad is because you write what you can't say out loud; it's a form of expressing yourself through written words. You take what's on the inside and expose it on a blank sheet, untainted by the burdens that haunt your thoughts. Writing down every tear, every depression, every fear, every heartbreak, every sadness, every moment that made you smile, every moment your heart skipped a beat, and every moment that ever mattered. Those tears you never cried wet the paper with pencil marks. Those words you never told that special person are finally out there. Poems are the regrets we wish we didn't have, the mistakes we wish we didn't make, the knowledge we wished we would have known. Poems are the painful memories we had or heard, and the stories that break our hearts. So you ask why poems are so sad, well I guess that unspoken language colors the white rose crimson, turning something plain into something beautiful, turning pain into relief.

600 Days

It’s funny how the time flies. I have 600 days until I graduate from high school, until I leave and become an adult, until I’m on my own, until I have to know what I’m going to do with life. I know I’m going to read this later, and I will remember writing this and thinking how fast the time has flown by. I remember being a freshman and my bright eyes coming into the unknown world of something called high school. I remember seeing unfamiliar faces that I would soon call "best friends". I remember meeting people who made me mad, angry, sad, and happy. All the memories of two years that went by too fast. It's funny how I never thought the year would end when I was stuck until 2 a.m. doing APUSH homework, or the nights when a process essay was due, waiting till the last minute to complete my assignment. At the same time, there were classes that seemed to last 10 minutes consumed by debates or arguments about which character was at fault, or the most important quote, while learning life lessons and something new everyday. I never thought I would miss any of this, but now all I want is more time.

I only have 600 days. It's funny how we never realize how fast time flies. It's going to be 2014 soon, and I'm still getting over the fact that I don't write _/_/12 every time I get out a piece of paper. I still tell people I'm 15 even though I'm almost 16-and-a-half. In an hour, I will only have 599 days left until I graduate; I'm not ready. I'm not ready to let go. I'm not ready to meet new people, and to start over because it feels like this just began. I have 600 days, but it's a lot less than I think.

Time is frail. I never really grasped the concept of valued time. I have 600 days to make my mark, to show people what I have, to let them know what's coming. It's hard to not remember the past, and all of the great memories that were shared, and all the memories of the tears that were shed. I want to remember, but this nostalgic feeling makes me depressed but reminds me of the happiness that my friends have given me. I have 600 days to be there for the ones that matter, to make new friends and keep the old ones, to support the ones who will support me. Until I throw my cap in the air I have 600 days, 600 days more than most people. I look at all the freshman with bright eyes who remind me of myself, and I wish I could tell them how fast it goes. I want to tell them to take this time and to hold it dear. You never get back your high school years, you never get back any time at all. I want to tell them to make the best with what time they are given because you never know when it will be taken away from you.

If the World Was Blind

I am a teenager, 16 years of age, yet I somehow assume the role of a misconception of who you think I am. I'm not a girl who wakes up an hour early to do her hair or to put make-up on. I don't wear skirts and dresses with a different pair of shoes every week. I simply get up, throw some shorts and a t-shirt on, and brush my hair in the car. I'm surrounded by people who believe putting up a façade is who they are, layering themselves with the words "who I want to be", spending 10 minutes in the girl's bathroom looking at their reflection in the mirror. How come everybody criticizes me because I don't fall under the standard of the stereotypical teenage girl? Hey, I get an extra hour of sleep everyday, I get 10 minutes to talk with my friends or finish uncompleted homework, they don't. I start to wonder, how the world would change, if everyone was blind. Think about it, there would be no need to dress up, worry about your image, or wonder if those jeans make you look fat. People wouldn't judge you and label you for what you look like, and for not wearing the styles that are "in" or mismatching the colors of your top and bottom. The inside would become the prevalent feature, rather than the outside. People would make friends based on the qualities of a person rather than their quantity of clothes. The world would become more colorful, filled with the thoughts and imaginations dreamed by each individual, rather than conforming to the color scheme that society has set. If the world was blind, our skills would be endless, our education superior, our lives happier, and the world a better place.